Serious ranting time now.
There is so much on my mind right now that I’m physically sick because of it. I feel like throwing up and I’m shaking. I’m irritated and sad and angry and nostalgic and all this other stuff I shouldn’t be feeling at 1:13 in the morning. I need to be up in less than, what, 6 hours? And I’m laying here hating everyone. Mostly guys, but whatever. It’s like each one I think of makes me feel a different way, none very positive. I miss one. I hate the other. I’m not sure what this one makes me feel. Another makes me remember the good times. The last irritates me. I can’t even put it into words. I miss you? I hate you? I can’t stand you? Come back to me? Stay the fuck away from me? I’m glad I don’t see you every day? It sucks that I have to see you again? Seriously, what the fuck is it. What do I say. What do I do. Why is this the goddamned cause of my insomnia. I WANT TO GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. I know for a fact that the boys I mention here can see this. Most probably will see this, with the exception of maybe one. But I digress. I can’t tell you (whoever you are reading this) what you make me feel because I don’t want to feel any of it anymore.